April 2011
18 posts
13 tags
30 tags
30 tags
Marriage Material: Royal Wedding
If the royals really are “just like us” and the royal wedding is like some weddings that I’ve been to, then Kate Middleton will have a gaggle of jealous, cunty, and fighting bridesmaids who, despite their best attempts to contain their nastiness, will ooze thinly veiled tantrums, passive aggressive insults and self-serving gossip. The best man will get so drunk and high that he...
2 tags
Things I've overheard on my dates (being said to...
This isn’t working out.
You’ve had too much to drink.
This was really fun and I don’t know why! I mean, you’re pretty but you’re not a supermodel or anything.
Talking to a comedian is very intimidating. Usually ladies find me very funny and now I don’t know what to do to impress you.
You don’t talk much but I always heard comedians were boring in...
28 tags
Is that albacore in your pocket or are you just...
Ok, so last night I went to this place Mako for sushi and it was off the motherfucking chain. If you don’t believe me, just read all of the awesome reviews on Yelp which I personally always find to be very yelpful: http://www.yelp.com/biz/mako-sushi-los-angeles
So it’s located on the 3rd floor of a random mall on the edge of Little Tokyo. It’s a small, economical space...
i wish i could start caring about sports. it seems like such a fun way to bond with people who love to yell.
RT @MarkPittaShow: Check this video out — Melinda Hill.m4v http://t.co/M9SGV1Q via @youtube
25 tags
Online Dating: Portal To Your Soulmate(s)
A dating site is a terrific way to meet new people outside of your usual realm of friends, hobos, and men who can only stare at their shoes in your presence. I know like five couples who met online and went on to seal the deal with a bona fide marriage and subsequent divorce, so what are you waiting for?! Some of these sites are completely free so you can meet someone new for the same price as...
30 tags
Awesome places to take your date.
East side dinner/ drinks/ activities:
Canele in Atwater http://www.canele-la.com/
Cliff’s Edge in Silverlake http://www.cliffsedgecafe.com/
Cafe Stella in Siverlake http://www.cafestella.com/
Blair’s in Silverlake http://www.blairsrestaurant.com/
Reservoir in Silverlake http://silverlakereservoir.com/
Forage in Silverlake http://www.foragela.com/
Dusty’s in Silverlake...
regarding childbearing: you lost me.
regarding childbearing: you lost me at “it’s a lot of work.”
regarding childbearing: you lost me at “childbearing hips.”
regarding childbearing: you lost me at “we only hang out with other couples who have children now.”
regarding childbearing: you lost me at horny flatulence.
regarding childbearing: you lost me at “we never go out any...
northern california: i’m headlining throckmorton theatre tonight! see you there. i’m bringing cds, get one. it’ll help u thru the recession.
Marriage Material (my essay that was published in...
I never knew how badly I wanted to get married until I changed my Facebook status to engaged. Did you know that all you have to do to be validated by the entire world is just get engaged? Suddenly people think you’re worthwhile because you’re “marriage material.”
People have been writing the nicest comments!
“He’s a lucky guy, you’re so smart and cool.”
One guy private...
20 tags
Enjoy Your Biscuit
Isn’t it comforting to know that the only dirtbag truly responsible for your unhappiness is you? Think about all the stuff you didn’t get from your ex or current love/ lust/ inappropriate work fling and make a list of those things. Now understand that this list that you’re so up in arms about is actually a list of stuff that you’re not giving yourself. The people and situations in our lives only...
19 tags
The Get-it-all-out-letter
There’s no way you can move on when all the sordid details of a break up are still floating around in your brain. So get it on the page and let it go. Have you tried this? It’s awesome. This is the letter you’re never going to send. Write everything you hated, loved, miss about the situation, everything you wish it could’ve been, all the stuff you wanted to say but couldn’t, etc. The point...
14 tags
GBOTs
Ok so let’s get back to your (my) break up. Are you still thinking about it? Well don’t! Do not google, do not Facebook, do not stand outside his window with a candle. “Out of sight, out of mind” is a saying because it works. Wish him well and put all thoughts, memories, obsessive triggers, remnants and revelations that it’s too late to have into a sealed envelope in outer space. When the thoughts...
22 tags
Marriage Material: Deal Breakers
I start every morning with a wonderful routine of strong coffee, positive affirmations, and a morning after pill. And by morning after pill, I mean a medley of exercises designed to purge any neggo thoughts/ emotions from the night before so that I might start the day anew, unfettered and untethered.
These feel-good activities vary, depending on the shame quotient attached to the preceding...
